Like a mind virus, infecting people’s brains so that they could move on and infect others, men began recommending it to their friends, and then their friends recommended it to their friends, and soon their friends’įriends were buying it for their brothers and cousins and even newly divorced fathers and uncles. With no marketing, no publicity, no promotion, and a shitty cover I made myself in Photoshop, the book’s sales grew exponentially each month. Many of them reported to me many of the mistakes and helped me edit it over the proceeding weeks and a few small updates were released soon after.īy the fall of that year, I felt good that it was out there and people liked it and soon moved on to other projects.īut as the months rolled on, the book began to take on a life of its own. That first month it only sold a few hundred copies – mostly blog readers and former clients of mine. It was self-published through Amazon and my own website. I wanted to be able to make some money online without having to physically be in one spot, as almost four years of constant travel to do the coaching thing was wearing on me.īut I also wanted to get my ideas out into the world and hopefully make a dent in the dating advice industry since, at the time, I felt that what I had to say was quite different from the vast majority of toxic “Pick Up” At the time, my aspirations were fairly pedestrian. The first version of the book was long and sloppy: 366 pages, with at least that many typos, grammatical errors, and dumb tangents.
Petersburg, and it was finally finished in Budapest. Most of it was written in hotel rooms and small apartments across Europe: first London, then Bristol, then Prague, then St.
I wrote the book in less than three months. I didn’t just want to lay out step-by-step plans and information to be memorized, I wanted to move the reader, since after all, the whole point of the book is that dating and romance is about just that: allowing yourself to be moved, both emotionally and physically. I wanted the beauty and joy of the dating experience to come across in the writing itself. Perhaps I was up my own ass with self-importance, but I wanted to give it a bit more of a literary flair. But I also wanted the style of the book to be different. I already knew the core ideas of this book were going to be different – deeper, more personal, more emotional. I had read pretty much every other dating advice book on the market and thought most of them were garbage. I also decided early on that I wanted to make the book different stylistically. I was touring Europe, giving talks and coaching live at the time, and I would often finish up a session with a client or do a Q&A with a small audience and immediately run to my hotel room to jot some of the ideas that had spewed out of my mouth into the now ballooning book. The book spilled out of me in a somewhat involuntary manner, a kind of intellectual vomit. “What book do I wish I would have read when I was single and struggling in my dating life? If I had only read one book, what do I wish it had told me?”Īs the weeks went by, it turned out that I wished it had told me a lot.
And for a few days, I was paralyzed with all of the potential.īut I soon decided to limit myself to one specific aim. There were so many considerations, so many ideas, so many goals and ambitions. In April 2011, in a cramped and horribly overpriced hotel room in London, I began the outline for a dating advice book.įor anyone who has tried to write a book, they know that starting it is the most daunting part. The Author and Publisher assume no responsibility or liability whatsoever on the behalf of any Purchaser or Reader of these materials.Īny perceived slights of specific people or organizations are unintentional. The Purchaser or Reader of this publication assumes responsibility for the use of these materials and information.Īdherence to all applicable laws and regulations, federal, state, and local, or any other jurisdiction is the sole responsibility of the Purchaser or Reader. Requests for permission for or further information on usage of this document should be addressed to: Legal Notice No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
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